The power to create a world, solely from the words written by your own mind, is a gift that should never be hidden.

Monday, 25 April 2011

You think too much!

A friend at work said this to me a while back. At first I kept my mouth shut and thought about what they had said. (Proving them true of course) Then I realized that in a way, probably unintentionally, this was actually a compliment. Because, yes, I do think to much!

There isn't a moment going by that I don't think. I think about my family, my friends, my work and sometimes even about my book(s). From the moment I wake till the second I fall asleep I am thinking. Even in my dreams I think about things that bother me or things I need to do. My thoughts never end. I have only found one way to shut it off, but I won't be discussing that here. Perhaps a topic for another day.
I actually remember the first time I was told to think. It really hit home, I was only a child and I am not sure how old I was at the time but my father was mad at me. That did happen a lot as a child but another topic for another day here too. I only remember him telling me to THINK for a change. I am sure at that time he was angry at me for something that is normal for a child to do but it was his actions that really stuck in my head. To think. I can honestly say that I made an effort at that time to think about everything. No matter how small. Back then it was to keep myself out of trouble but it has changed over the last thirty plus years. To this day it has stuck with me all the time. My thoughts can go so far into the future that it is hard to keep myself grounded in today. Other days my thoughts are so random that to explain them just makes people shake their head in wonder.
Regardless though I am glad that I am a thinker. Without it how would I make up those stories?
So my friends, what makes you think? Or not think? What I ask of you, are your thoughts? 

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

5 Years Ago

If you are easily upset perhaps it is not the best time to be reading this post. It's not bad as per say but it could be viewed as depressing to some.

It is over 5 years ago now that I was diagnosed with MS. It isn't exactly a secret that I have it and as far as the disease goes I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I came to find out I had it when I lost about 25% of my vision in both eyes. If you were to think of your vision as a circle and then place some cross hairs through that, I lost the lower left side of that circle. In hind sight it was a very interesting experience. It wasn't like there was a black hole there or anything, it was just gone. Very hard to explain and it is an experience I would rather not have to repeat, ever. At the time though it scared the shit out of me as well as my doctors. They told me at first that I had a stroke. I was only 32 then. So with no wasting of time I was rushed off to the closest town that had an MRI machine and jammed into it so they could see if it was true. It didn't take much longer to figure out that it wasn't a stroke just MS.
So, after all that you that are still reading this might be asking. Ok, so why do you type this now?
Well, since that time I have been pretty lucky. If I did have any other attacks they were small and usually didn't last that long. A month and a half was about the longest. So in the last 5 years I have learned what the symptoms usually feel like and when it's just my body being usual self. I have been feeling something odd for about the last week and as of today I know it is another attack. I have had this kind before too. I refer to it as chronic leg pain. The doctors like to use a pain scale of 1 - 10 to identify your pain. When I threw out my back some time ago I was at a high 7. When I broke a bone it was at a 9.8. This leg pain is at a 4. Now all those sticking with me to this part are saying. "A 4? Whats wrong with that? It's not so bad." And when you think of it like that, it isn't that bad at all. It could be so much worse. Except, it doesn't go away. There are no breaks, there are no waves. It is always just there. Think of someone pressing a finger against your skin and leaving it there. Day, after day, after day. For over a month. That is what the 4 is like to me, all over my legs. You can hold it in and ignore it for a while but there comes a time when tension starts to build and no matter how hard you try the pain gets to you. You get annoyed, you snap at people or some days you just want to cry. I am not there yet, I can still smile and play with my kids. I have been through this once, I can do it again.
Perhaps it is best if most don't read this far. Now at the bottom I know that I wrote this more for myself then for anyone else. One of the biggest problems with MS is that there is so little that can be done to help. My wife feels this more then anyone else I know and she will not like this post in the least. For that I am sorry. Sometimes the words just have to be said even if they are read or not. But never fear! I still have my humor!

The link is for people who want to know more.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Being a Father

What does that really mean? Being a Father. I have thought on this post for a while and to be honest I am still not really sure what it means. I am a Father, I have a beautiful wife and two awesome kids, but that doesn't make me a father. I go to work for my 9 hours a day and for that I get to miss out on some pretty cool things. My 4yr old son just started riding his bike with no training wheels for instance. I didn't get the chance to be there to see it because I was at work. Now please don't get me wrong. I have taken the role of supporting my family very seriously. It is important to me to make sure they have all the necessity's in life. A roof over their heads, cloths, and full belly's but does that make me a father? No. I am in a constant struggle with finding time to do the things I used to enjoy B.C. ( My wife and I changed B.C. to mean Before Cids, Kids, get it?) and spending time with my family. Again, please don't get me wrong. If I had to choose I would always choose to spend time with my family, but sometimes I just have to have a little "ahh" time to myself. Does that make me a bad Father? I love my life. I wish there were a way for me to be able to spend all my time here so that I can stop and see the moments that are passing me by all too quickly. So I write, it is one of the things I love to do. Perhaps one day it will support my family so I can pursue in more depth how to be a great Father. I found this quote a while back and it made me think of my own children.

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.  ~Author Unknown

I am proud to say, my kids (and wife) do that. Perhaps I am already a Father.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

The Fair in our front yard!

So we are blessed where we live and a traveling fair comes through our little town once a year. It just so happens that this little Fair sets up right in our front yard. Literally...

Yep that is my front yard there... Now imagine if you will that you have two kids aged 4 and 5 and you can do the math as to what kind of fun this can be to a child. Also what kind of a headache it can be to an adult...
(Yes that is snow on the back mountain.)  

Those are my awesome kids who on the first day the Fair set up waited for over 7 hours for them to get ready. This is like an adult waiting for 3 months... They didn't complain until the very end. I have great kids! Their patience paid off in the end though. The owner of the Fair gave us all free passes for the day and we made the most of them. My five year old daughter even went on rides that I thought she would fly right out of. Her smile made it all worth while though. So all in all we had an awesome time and my kids have enough sugar to keep an ant nest happy for a lifetime. Here is too West Coast Amusements, Bingo the owner and another great turn out!

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Seeds are planted.

So the seed took root and the rough draft (very rough) is sitting at about 1k. I had to get it onto paper (so to speak). It turns out that my idea is catching on. I have mentioned it to a few other people that I trust and they all agree so far that it is original. We will have to see if it is good as well as original in time.

On a completely different note my wife has been shown a video a while back by someone completely messed up, *cough, me, cough* So if I can find out how to post a link (or the video) I would like to share it with you now!
Yes, it will get stuck in your head and never leave. You have been warned.

And now that I have forever changed how you think of music. Let me know what you think!