What time is Mr. Wolf?

It is an old children's game. Some of you might not remember it, but I do. What is the reference to this blog post you may ask? Well, it is 11 o-clock here and at my midnight the princess looses her carriage and the horses turn back into mice.
Stop being so damn cryptic you say?
Okay, you got it.
For those of you who know me well you already know this. I have been writing like a madman for a publishing company that I am hoping will decide to pick me up. You see, they do things quite different here. Instead of me handing them what I have written and hoping they fall mindlessly in love with it. I am given a chance to prove I can write well and every step of the way they give me incredibly useful, sometimes painful, advice, and correction about my craft.
I have progressed farther than most in this little endeavour but now as I am nearing the end it is what I am referring to as the "11th hour" or "Do or Die" for those not quite as old as I am. My skills in creating a story have been proved. I have shown I can work inside a deadline. Now I am being held back by one, tiny, little thing.
A COMMA.

Yes, for the life of me I can not seem to understand the basic rules of comma usage. I have read pages, and pages of rules. I have printed them out and read them at work between customers while my boss gives me dirty looks. I even have a copy sitting right here next to me as we speak.

I just don't seem to get it.

The lessons I have learned in this process have been invaluable to me. Those alone I will take and cherish. I just find it rather sad to know that all this work that I have done has a very distinct chance of falling down around my shoulders, all because of one little spot of ink in a sentence.

On one page I was reading the rules about comma's and it said it so simply.

If you read the sentence out loud, and you pause, that is where the comma should go. Ignore the rules they are always changing anyway.
Shame that doesn't work for me, but it would be nice right?

P.S. No comma's were hurt in the making of this blog. Although, I am sure I misused at least two or three up there.