Struggling authors, thoughts, joy, and another random blog.

I have struggled with what to blog about lately.
No.
It isn't a writers block, in fact I have had many ideas, but I dismiss them all  as soon as I think of them. Why? Well..perhaps because there is so much going on that I feel every one of them should have their 15 minutes in the sun. Or, it could be that my mind is like a spring bird, flitting from one idea to the next so quickly it never has a chance to light on any one area, before flying off to the next.
So what am I blogging about then?
Nothing, and everything would be my response. In no particular order and with no intent to be negative, or too positive. Here are some thoughts...

As of late I have watched some of my good friends struggle with their own demons.

I have an old friend that has announced he is getting married. (First time and well deserved! Congrats to him!)

I have a new(ish) friend that has been having some issues in her own life that are working to tear her down, yet when I put my hand out for help she was the first one to grab it and offer assistance when others have just moved on.

I have a friend I have never met, who lives not too far away, but a world apart, feel the weight of her world too much for her own shoulders. She is taking a much needed break from her own "friends" on social media who instead of support, seek to tear her down. In stead of praise and help, they inject their "opinions".

I question my own past experiences with writing, while enjoying the best month ever, as far as sales go. (No I am not getting rich, but every single sale puts a smile on my face.)

Spring is coming and with it the chance to once again get outside, enjoy the sun, spend time doing things that I love with the people that I love. It will be a good summer, I know it will!

I have family that are not well, and it reminds me of my own illnesses that plague me. It is said that pain is a reminder you are still alive. Lately, sometimes I am much more alive.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson

Ideas come from the strangest places.

I am not sure exactly where this idea popped up from, but I do know I was pacing a floor. So, I would assume that it was probably when I was bored at work. Yes, I get lots of ideas while bored at work.

ANYWAY...It was the start of an idea.

Like a good camp fire it just needed some time, and some space to breath, before the flames caught and the idea took off.
Those flames caught me while driving home from a doctors appointment today. It was a rough draft and only in its most bare form, but it was there.

Que the pestering of my wife.

In every writers carrier, I believe, they come to a point where they have a great idea, but it is missing something special. I know I can count on my wife for those times.

I will be honest, she loves that I can make up stories, she doesn't care for the idea of making her own...yet, but that might come in time. However, when I need a fresh new thought on something, I can rely on her to come up with an idea that my own twisted imagination wouldn't have imagined. She brings me back to a level of reality that can be very important for a writer in the field of fiction. She did that again today.

Skip time forward about three more hours, with the kids asleep, the house clean (ish) and 300 words later I had a very rough drafted outlined. I can see this story sitting around the 30-40k mark and it is a story idea totally new to me.

I intend to research it and see if I am wrong.

So, I have pounded out some words on a doc file, my hand joyously moves to hit the save button and I realise I have no idea what this title will be.
It is a good thing I have great friends on twitter. Their words come back to me even when they are offline. FIND ANOTHER WORD!
I have an idea in my head but it sounds terrible, cue thesaurus.com and viola! An outline for BREATHING SPACE has been born. Now all I need is the time to write it and make it happen.

A little about someone I love deeply.

So normally I blog about whatever is on my mind. In reality, this time is no different.

This particular blog is going to be about the woman who means the most to me in the world.

My wife. *To be known as 'C' to protect the innocent.*

Ever since I met my wife almost 8 years ago I have noticed she is different than other woman. Yes, of course she is you say. Well, this time it is more true than you might think, and it was only just last week that we found out how different she really is.
She would try to explain to me how her mind worked. A troubling area to be sure, for a man can never really know the inner workings of a woman's mind. Yet, I did my best to understand regardless. She dumbed it down for me by saying that often when she would see something, someone, or hear a song, the stimulus isn't important, it would trigger a ton of memories tied into that 'thing'. The best way to think of it would be looking at the very same computer screen you are seeing this on, and having a whole bunch of computer windows popping up with every different area of stimuli. Often those windows would just open more windows and your computer (mind) would be overcome with a myriad of thoughts, images and memories.
Pretty hard to take in right?
So my response was, well stop thinking about it! (a pretty typical male response, it would work for me, being able to turn off my brain with ease) Thing is, she can't. I stumbled across what she actually has.

Hyperthmesia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperthymesia

Yes, she really does have this. Now before you start thinking, whoa whoa whoa, there is no way anyone can have that. Check it out a little deeper. It is rare, and she isn't a full blown case. I can't give her a date for her to recall every little detail on. BUT, there are 1000's of days that she can remember.

So what does that mean you say? Well, here you go. It means that when someone did a kind act, she remembers what was said, by who, wearing what. If it was raining that day, what time of day it was, what song was on the radio, all of that is in there.

On the flip side...

If someone wronged her, let her down, was a snob, ignored her, gave the silent treatment, put her in their 'bad books' called her a name... ANYTHING. She remembers it, to a T. What they were wearing, the color of their hair, what stuffed animals were arranged in the background. Everything.

I love my wife to death. When I said the words 'I do' I meant them from the bottom of my heart and I will live my entire life dedicated to making her life happier, and better. So how do I do this when people of the world today care only about themselves, and the thoughts of others are pushed aside on a whim? It is very hard. You see, those things that most people can ignore, shove aside, forget all together or even kid themselves into thinking never really happened. When you do it to C, they aren't forgotten. The words can cut deeper than any blade can, and the cuts take a very, very long time to heal.
How will I protect my wife from people that don't care?
I will care even more.

Decisions of an Author, self pub or query again...

So I ran across an artist last night that likes to do book covers. Her work looks awesome and I figured, "Hey, why not chat this person up and see if you can sucker err convince them to give your whopper of a story a book cover.
She was agreeable and asked me to send over my synopsis to see what she thought of it...
Oh yeah, synopsis, I have one of those somewhere...

*Digs through my writing folder and pulls out my old synopsis file*
*Reads the four versions I used to think were pretty good*
*Quickly scraps all four, empties the trash folder, and burns computer*
 *Slams open Word to write out a new one that hopefully doesn't suck*

Yes, they were that bad. It was like reading a list of medical ingredients to a grade 3 class. How I ever thought they would interest anyone really amazes me. But! Don't despair! I was in a creative mood, my old synopsis(s)? <--Do you really plural that word? were so so far gone from my memory that I started fresh and made a really new one. Even I liked it.
So I grabbed my nearest beta reader. AKA My wife, and forced err asked her to read it. She knew of my prior failures and cringed at the thought, but after a quick read she said.

Wow! I like that one! I would even grab that book off a shelf.

Glowing praise for a woman that really doesn't read the genre I tend to write in.

So without further ado, I offer my scribbling for you to tear apart err read and critique. Hit me with your worst, what do you think about it? Would you pull this book off a shelf? Would you pay 9.95 (or 12.95 in Canada since the dollar is soooo far apart right now *not*)
Here we go...

Children's stories tell us the world we now live in used to be a different place. Some call it Gaia; others call it Eden, none of that matters to Shade or Dawn. Now they call it home.

The people of earth didn't use the planet, they misused it, and the unusual solar flare from the sun almost destroyed it. Only a lucky few managed to survive. Most of humanity paid with their lives, and they must now learn to adapt to a world where electricity refuses to flow, and the broken remains of the moon litter the surface of the earth with a fresh magic. Even humans are changing, their bodies reverting, reviving the fairy tales of youth.

The skies no longer drop rain. Fires burn indefinitely and the creatures of our past walk again. In pockets of paradise, humanity begins anew while the rest of the world weeps.

Donovan doesn't care about any of that. All he wants is to kill his sister so he can do everything "the rules" said he couldn't do before. Everything was working exactly as he planned until the undead beauty, Silvia, stepped into his web of destruction…all because of a can of beans.

Share it with your writer friends. Tear it up if you feel the need, or let me know what you would change. This might be the last kick at the cat for this book before it goes Indie and I would love to hear your input.